Okay so last friday I heard fununu’z (grapevine gossip) that the adorable (I know this is sad word to call a man but i’ve been having a very unimaginative vocab. lately ) Kagwe Mungai was releasing a jam at the Vineyard which is a super chill place in Westlands, Nairobi.
Since I had heard awesome reviews of the place before I figured I had nothing to lose so I composed a long ass email and sent it out to invite a few people to accompany me.
We reached, bought a fleet of cocktails to last us for a bit and start doing the head bob we all do to our favorite songs before the alcohol checks in
and the ridiculous dance moves start popping up, oh and occasionally throwing in a couple of words in between head bobs probably from a rap verse to show how cool you are…I mean a girl who listens to hip-hop is super ideal right?
No. Its not but thats for another day.
So by now am sure you can notice how the night was going right? Amazing!
We had sat immediately under the Dj area so the music was stupid loud. When any of my friends tried to talk to me I would just sign I couldnt hear so they could stop trying to force conversation and leave me to listen to the awesome old-school jams being mixed.
Fast-forward to two hours later, we are outside being feasted on by mosquitoes on a deck that was practically falling apart, seated on seats with buttholes in them. Yes buttholes. Holes that your butt sinks into…*Sigh* The struggle. Wondering how my dumb-ass got in this situation? Well Its a long story involving man-boys, bitter drinks and stale conversations.
Anyway, My adorable Kagwe Mungai walked in, performed, and walked out and I wasnt anywhere in the vicinity. I was busy, outside, figuring out which would be the fastest ways to kill myself.
Probably by now your wondering why you read through all this and didnt get to read a review?
Well clearly I dont have adequate information since i wasnt there, and….wait you know, I won’t explain myself, thats what i do! Jot down a topic, tell myself that i will stick to it but end up straying and writing something totally different.
So yeah am sorry…its a condition or something.
*walks away feeling defeated*
Nah am too cool to feel defeated so I decided I’d rather pull a Fela Kuti and walk away looking like I have freshly waxed pits.