Don’t Scratch the Lambo.

Hey! Am Andy (a.k.a B.T, Modern Superman,The I.T guy). After continuous pleading and wailing (…Which did quite a number on my ego) I was finally accepted as one of the guest writers here at Urbaneyezd. Due to my over-excitement i wont say much but start getting used to seeing me around quite a bit.

Anyway….Welcome to my first post!


Lusaka is a lot like Nairobi. By that, I mean the car ahead is always a Toyota.

So you can imagine my surprise on seeing a Lamborghini Gallardo in a Lusaka petrol station. 

Now, first off let me address two people. That chap in London thinking “Pssh! Gallardo? I saw a couple of Veneno’s this morning….”
And that arm-chair motoring guru (self proclaimed or otherwise) thinking “Ga… What?? That’s so last century but one!”

Well, you’re right. In the world of super cars, the Gallardo isn’t particularly the avant garde. Not by a long shot.
But! This isn’t super car world. This is sub Saharan Africa. Where having a daily meal is a privilege. What more a car?

So… Given this privileged opportunity, I naturally ogled for a while.  It’s funny. We see these cars all the time on the Internet and TV, but there’s still a certain je ne sais quoi about meeting them in person. ( I’m that guy who personifies cars )

After peeking inside, I gave a rather exaggerated nod of approval to the driver.
I should mention that his reaction wasn’t as enthusiastic. It was immediately clear to me that a Lamborghini  owner doesn’t quite require the opinion of a pedestrian.
Well, once that sunk, I watched him speed off and got back to my lane.

In retrospect, sub Saharan africa super car sightings are getting more and more common. With GTRs, SLS AMGs in Nairobi,  Ferrari’s in Lagos and more Lambos in Dar, I feel more motivated to go to work. So I pay my taxes. So that sons and daughters of important people in government buy super cars to grace our bad roads. That could have been built for less than the price of the car.
But, I digress.
So that we have more posts like this.

In fact, I’m off to work….


The Morning Bus

PS: The comments in italics and the strike-throughs are by my super cool buddy – who proof reads my blog posts. ( Thanks B.T. ).

I thought it’s a great idea to post with his comments, rather than edit the post.  Enjoy…..



I have a love-hate relationship with mornings. I hate the act of having to get out of bed to do anything…iI really mean ANYTHING.

There is something about morning bus rides that I find so fascinating though. There is an energy that I get in the morning whenever I get closer to our dusty bus terminal that makes me pumped. If there was a theme song to this part of the day it would have to be Midnight City by M83…This song just does things to you in the morning that wouldn’t happen at any other time of the day, it. It never gets old.

There’s a sense of togetherness each time I get into the bus…I give out the ‘oh you had to get up at five too’ stares to a couple of people before i get a seat preferably next to a person than ( I don’t know why you say that. Also, I don’t know whether it’s wrong or not 🙂 )a window. If I don’t find anyone at the double seat I purposely seat sit at the edge waiting for a chubby looking person to get in, who I hurriedly poke before anyone seizes the opportunity before me and sign that s/he should take the window seat ( you’re that weird person who nobody wants to sit with ). When they take a seat, I lay back, close my eyes with a slight grin knowing that I just got my companion for the next two hours. I will let you in on why you need a chubby bus mate not only because I’m a good Christian but since I believe sharing is caring. ( LOL )

I strongly believe your seat mate can either make or break your morning bus ride. Chubby seatmates ( OK, you just invented a word ) block the annoying window breeze, you get to steal their body heat ( eeh.. What?? ) , and when you eventually doze off and your body loses all restraint they are quite cosy to ‘accidentally’ fall asleep on. If you’re already chubby don’t take this advice hence else you find yourself fanning your body the whole bus ride, plus am I’m sure one of you will spill out of the seat and nobody likes paying for one thigh. So for you, just get into the bus with your head held high and wait for the poke. I repeat DO NOT do the poking!

Everyone seems to work together in order to get you to work on time. The energy of people in the morning is at its best. Kenyans are quite the hard working and focused lot…In the mornings. *grins* Starting from the bus guys who tell you which buses will get you to the city on time. (P.S They are never to be trusted), The drivers who drive as though they personally know w your awful boss ( ssshh… Don’t talk bad about your boss. )  and know the urgency you’re in to get to work on time, The police who, if the above have issues find a solution to get the people to the city then come back and deal with issues and so on.

I personally love old buses, not the ‘chipped paint, still struggling to look cool’ ones, No I like the ‘about to stop in the middle of the road, roll back and stop in a ditch’ kinda old buses. Old buses let you do anything, they give you an endless opportunities to do things, listen to music, sing out loud ( eeh.. You do that????? ), talk on the phone for ages, start up a random conversation with a stranger, listen to the random preacher who hops on and makes the old rickety bus into a moving church (ensure you don’t seat sit directly under the preacher though.  Lol that’s when ‘champagne showers’ easily turns to ‘saliva showers’), I mean practically anything. I meant it when I said ENDLESS list of opportunities! Those buses push my good buttons; make me leave the bus smiling like I’m from meditation session (add that to things you can still do in an old bus).

The sad thing though about my old buses is they really suck if you’re in a hurry, they move as though the tires are made of bricks so unless you are in the mood of being driven around like your sightseeing I recommended you jump on the newer versions. So for this reason and this reason only, I prefer keeping those little gems for the evening ride back home.

I find bus rides an adventure I get to experience each morning and till my measly little salary gets bumped up a few notches, an experience I will keep on having.

Free pass to the VEVE Movie Premier!

I recently went for a movie launch at the Junction for a local movie on Thursday 28th 2014 called Veve which is slang for Miraa or Khat.
Firstly i would like to say that i was having a pretty horrid day before this event so when time to leave for the event reached i made a sprint exit out the door papers flying, hands waving & the works…okay it might have not been this dramatic but believe me it felt like it.
Okay back to the premier. When we reached we were met by a large pool of people standing in the middle of the mall looking all polished and structured. Women had whipped their red lipstick on, Men their favourite cologne. I immediately knew that my day was making a turn for the better. Being among creatives and friends of after a day spent with my fellow zombie bankers is all i could ask for to recharge my already dead and chewed batteries. We had a few issues since we had no tickets but the heavens noticed that they could not put me through anymore torture and we got free tickets in! *YAY US*
This movie was written by Natasha Likimani & Directed Simon Mukali. I will be very vague since the movie is showing in cinemas in September so given how i hate spoilers, i will in the same spirit withhold from being one.
The ups:
The actors were really good and took up thier roles very well. I was pretty impressed by the role of Kenzo and the actor who played the role just brought his character to  life.
Emorugene is his name. His character is very intense. In normal life he would be the quiet dude who sits alone and stares at people, has few or no friends, always withdrawn and a little creepy, the guy who you’re probably scared to be alone with because you will either have painfully ‘cricket moment’ filled conversations or he will just outright get up and stab you. That’s the Kenzo character or at least what i took up. But in usual life the guy described above is usually a weird guy who girls most of the time have no affinity to. Well not Kenzo, His character is sexually charged and his mysterious character
worked to increase this particular factor. Emorugene is certainly not a Brad Pitt look alike, his looks are far from polished, but he had a Khal Dhrogo (game of thrones) vibe to him that made girls fan themselves anytime his scene came on. He looks like the guy who can rip a man’s heart, eat half of it and to show his sensitive side he would wrap the other side in a bow and give it to you in a bid to show you that you’re his other half. No? Well at least you now know how my fantasies look like *grin*
Lizz Njagah(Esther) was also great! She played the good wife character very well. Her chemistry with Emorugene was very evident and made the movie even more captivating. There’s nothing as annoying as no chemistry between two people who are meant to act like they got it. It becomes a burden to the actors themselves and to us since we have to watch you painfully try to act like you actually like/love each other…and trust me it’s a sad sad thing.
The last scene when she beats down walls to rescue her man was pretty good and believeable plus a great balance to the timid and obedient character she was playing all along. Hats off to her!
Lowry Adhiambo (Amos) I am not sure if it’s the fact that the character was not meant to be a likeable one but i felt that he might have not fit totally into the role. Some parts were a bit to robot like for me, like plain words. I didn’t feel his presence in some of the scenes as much as much as some of the other characters.
Conrad Makeni (Sammy) He was also quite good. His father role especially was very gripping and emotionally involving. You could actually feel his hurt as he was watching his son slip into the evils that he could not just shake off. I must admit i got a little teary-eyed…Not because I have daddy issues which I DON’T HAVE but due to the fact that *Violin strings start* i have volunteered quite a bit and i have seen how bad decisions young people make really tear down their family emotionally and this was such a situation. *violin strings stop*
Kago without needs to say much was a brilliant druggie and thief.
Overall i think this movie was great. The only negative sides were the fact it might have ended a bit too abruptly and left me asking questions about different characters stories.
There were a lot of subtitles in it …like a Bollywood movie which made me not focus on looking at the people saying those lines but more of staring at the bottom of the screen.  This was a bummer for me in particular since am a huge fan of facial expression and body language so i ended up having to choose either one between scenes or wishing i was cock-eyed. Okay that was a bad joke and I’m sorry if I have any cock-eyed readers. Occasionally my eye tends to wander too so i can partially relate.  *grins*
Anyway this is a definitely a movie to watch and to watch out for!
I give it a seven and a half outta ten since i think it’s a hella cool movie!
Lovely Production from One day films & GingerInk!